how to jam jar

recently, i've been overtaken by chunks of chewy plum skin, doused in thick maroon goo(d)ness, sugar cane sweet. they come in tumbler sized jars, labeled "bonne mamman" and a lid with red and white checks, a sight of picnic air.

now, get a slice of (insert anything -edible- here) and lather it with semi-melted butter, just 7 seconds on the microwave if you have one, or 5 minutes in room temperature. then take a pretty tea spoon to dig up (un)pretty chunks of plum jam goodness and slap it on top of the butter which is on top of whatever you've picked.
spread it. never too thin. thick thick. fyi, it's the new thin.
admire it to get the gastronomical sight and smell juices flowing in your tummy, up your esophagus, into your mouth, and make sure it's not bile.
there's nothing as repulsive as bile in your mouth. but that's another story.
then bite into it. yes, this (insert anything -edible- here), butter, plum jam combo you've just created. masticate. let plum jamness seep into your gums and the insides of your cheek.
once you are done with the jammin'-- and this might take anywhere from 2 days to a week or a month, depending on your jam intake-- immerse the jar in water.
it doesn't need to be warm or anything.
just any old water.
count to 50.
remove the label, which should come out quite easily now that it's soggy.
stick it in your cabinet along with the other jars and glasses.
drink orange juice out of it every morning--- or any drink for that matter.
my favourite thing to do is to freeze these jam jars, and pull them out for some white wine every now and then.
or a beer.
whatever tickles you sideways.

enjoy. you have just graduated from the jam jar seminar.

p.s. if you are lactose intolerant, you may substitute the butter with something that you may not be allergic to, almond butter has proven to be alright with it. ummm.... i'm kinda shaky with margerine, it's not real butter. it never is, never will be. the key thing here is to let the plum jam be the only fruit kingdom ingredient, so lay off the apple sauce/jam. yes, put it down, right now.