rushing for more

as someone who thought she entered the tube when she came to chicago, there was only one person who could ease this transition.

the girl from the coffee garden.

the green marsupial.

the one who makes drunken pass-out nights seem like the prettiest trend.

the fall of 2003, she burnt me my first CD ever-- because before that, i was into cassettes, i was, i was really into them. the CD was new. (k)risp. it was a huge mix of all things henceforth deemed "american" by me, but mostly just the soundtrack to the movie, "rushmore"-- a wes anderson wonder.

after five years and a few months in change, "rushmore" came to me from a colleague at work here in bangkok. i had never watched the movie before. and the CD had been a memory lovingly tucked away and un-re-visited.

but as i sat in my bangkok apartment, with a chihuahua on the hip and some beer with ice cubes, these songs came back to me. and visited me in the most insidiously surreal and beautifully painful manner.

and i accepted it. i brought it in and welcomed it.

snow. lake forest. snow. new boots. thought of writing papers. CD player. not MP3player. PCs. cold night cigarrettes. that require gloves. the thin ones from walgreens. making ghoulish friends. experimenting. growing. loving. learning. hurting. changing. being young. oh so young.

i want everyone to listen to this soundtrack. if you don't have it, shoot me an email and i'd be glad to gmail it to you. click click.

since i didn't have said burnt CD with me, i had to find it online. a friend of mine, erik, who spends most of his time on his computer showed me a way i could download albums in ten minutes. gratuit. and voila, i have it now.

from casettes. to burnt CDs. to virtual downloads from trusting strangers.

this is how old this feeling is.

so please say "hello" to it with me. and help me enjoy it.